Penis Pasta

Dinner feeling a little, well, limp? Let’s serve up something cheekier. Meet Penis Pasta from Spencer and Fleetwood, a 250 g box of proper durum wheat semolina shaped into perky little penises. It hides in your cupboard like any other pasta until you pour it into the saucepan and the giggles kick in.

Why you’ll love it
• Pure durum wheat, so it cooks up al dente and holds any sauce you throw at it
• 250 g, enough for two generous plates or a whole party platter of innuendo
• RRP is £7.99, but we’ve slashed it to just £4.70, because turning dinner into a double entendre shouldn’t cost the earth
• Simple ingredients, zero artificial nonsense, totally suitable for vegetarian mischief-makers

How to play with your food
1. Boil in salted water for 8–10 minutes, just like the straight-laced stuff.
2. Drain, then toss into our favourite recipe: Big Balls with Penis Pasta. Think juicy meatballs, a steamy tomato-garlic sauce, and a sprinkle of parmesan for good measure.
3. Serve, then watch your guests try to keep a straight face.

Perfect for hen dos, date nights, or any weeknight that needs a side of silliness. Because mealtimes should be fun, and this pasta brings the party before the first glass of wine is even poured.

Grab a box, get the water bubbling, and let dinner go down in history as the most memorable one yet.